De Dana Dan

De Dana Dan

Today I went to see the newest movie "De dana dan", Directed by Priyadarshan who tried to cast the magic of Hera Pheri. But you know, Hera pheri was a work of art which in my opinion requires a great skill to replicate and more you try to repeat it the more you tend to fail which we have seen in previous few of Priyadarshan movies like “Malamaal Weekly”, “Hera Pheri 2” and “Bhagam Bhag”. A master piece like “Hera Pheri” comes out just from simplicity.

Well let’s talk about the movie "De dana dan".  The biggest assets of the film are Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal and clearly Archana Puran Singh. She is loud but in my opinion she does justice to her character in each movie. The movie has tooo too toooooooooooo many characters. And as we know Priyadarshan direction from the times of Hera Pheri that all his movies are packed with lots of characters which builds misunderstandings and in the last part everyone runs behind each other. You will find the same in this film again. But in this movie it’s somewhat comical in a better way and entertaining at some points too. There is an excessive shouting after the intermission, almost each character has delivered dialogues while almost screaming. But even that I found funny.

But you know I have learned one thing in past few years that there is an enormous disparity between seeing a movie in a theatre and at home on television. The movie becomes 10 times better when it’s watched jointly with hundreds of strangers. Like few of my friends watched “All the best” in the theatre and going by their good opinion towards the movie I watched it at home and to tell you very honestly, I did not laughed even at any single instance. It was garbage.

Well “De dana dan” is a complete time pass if watched in the theatre which I can’t guarantee the same if watched at home on television. According to me you can watch this movie. There are just few scenes which could make me laugh but my in-laws and cousin sister-in-law were rolling on their stomach, the reason being that they have not watched most of Priyadarshan movies. It’s just same old Priyadarshan trademark movie which starts with light comedy, creates confusion in the middle with an extra stretched turmoil towards the end. I enjoyed the movie because the tickets were for free, accompanied by complimentary popcorn and Pepsi.

If you really want to watch a comedy movie in the theatre and ready to shell out few hundred bucks then I would suggest to give "De Dana Dan" a shot. It’s not that bad. It’s in fact a good Akshay Kumar movie after a very long time in which he has made a sincere attempt to make people laugh which he has succeeded to some degree

I would rate it 3/5

The Great Indian Oktober Fest

My hands are in the sky and I am dancing and shouting to the beats of “Aapki Dua dil haar gaya”. Anyone will go crazy if that song is performed in front of them by THE KK himself in front of a swarm of zillions. I was a piece of this zillion, thanks to Kingfisher for organising India’s own October fest AKA Beer fest.

    The venue was Palace ground, Bangalore. We got hold onto a couple of passes. We were not very fascinated about the fest because we have attended the original beer fest in Denmark and trust my words “It was a pool of shit”, people were drinking out of their limits and were generating every sort of crap. It was mother of all chaos I had ever stumbled upon. But we decided to go to Bangalore beer fest only because the name “Kingfisher” was coupled with it. Outstanding is the second name of “Kingfisher” to me and I am sure that you also would agree with me.

    The beer fest 2009 started on Friday the 23^rd and will be there till 25^th the Sunday, We made it Today, the Saturday and we in fact experienced the actual gist of “The Saturday Night”. An entry fee of 300/- kept the cheap mob away. The crowd was a civilized one which made the evening even more comfortable, there were hundreds of beer stalls which were selling all kinds of kingfisher beer and each and every single soul was just finishing one can after the other. It was messy but not shitty :D

When we arrived there “Raghu Dixit” was performing.

Raghu Dixit (From his Website raghudixit.com) - Raghu Dixit is fast emerging as a unique and popular composer-song writer-singer from India. Raghu’s music is a seamless amalgamation of Indian ethnic music and styles from different parts of the world. His lyrics, though intense, are simple and speak about every common man’s emotions and experiences, therefore, making his songs extremely popular among his fans. Inserting Indian Ethnic Folk, Sufi and Classical music phrases cleverly into his songs

    You know I could not appreciate what he was singing because he was singing in Kannada but the song which can ROCK 10,000 people at once must be something extraordinary, and it was. The Finale was performed by KK and he just took it away. People went crazy even for the slow songs he sung. We really had a great time and if you read this in time then you can definitely catch the action on 25^th October 2009 which is tomorrow as I write this (actually its today, it’s already past 12 AM).                                         

CHEERS !! Hiccccc !!

Tere Sang – A Kidult Love Story

    Today I saw a movie title of which is the same as the title of this post. I know many of you would not have heard of it because it’s already out of theatres. When we started this movie I had a slight info about the movie that it’s about 2 teenagers who by mistake end up having a preteen physical relation. I actually had no faith in the movie, I was thinking it will be just another film in which director would try a disastrous effort to offer audience a message.

    The movie did not have any huge star caste or any other extraordinary features but I still decided to go ahead and write about it because of its unusualness. The movie is directed by none other than Satish Kaushik and music is composed by Anu Malik. I was astonished to notice those names at the opening and at the finish of the movie. A movie with such big names went overlooked.

So What’s the fuss all about!!

    The Movie is about 2 teenagers, who go eloped after committing the blunder and a 17 yr old tries to take care of his 15 yr old pregnant companion. Movie does not have any excellent story but what it does have a strong finish which I and my wife were never presuming. The ending is not a total shock but a very indisputable one. Movie also has very different dialogues, every time there is a dialogue or a situation which is repeated in almost all Indian movies had a very different and far better conclusion in comparison to what every other movie has. I just loved the way Satish Kaushik and Rajat Kapoor acted right through the movie, they just proved how effortless and sparkling they are in their work and I would say in fact that this one is the best of Satish Kaushik's any roles that he has played till now.

If you get hold of this movie then try to watch it, it’s not bad :D

Are you an Indian ??

Me:- What is our President's Name?

VR: - Ummmmmmm ..... mmmmmmm ..... mmmmm .... I know it ..... Manmohan Singh .... no no no .... ummmmm
Me:- Shall I tell you ?

VR:- No No ... I know .... It’s Abdul Kalam Azad.

Me:- Awesome, then tell me what is the capital of New Delhi?

VR:- Hey Delhi itself is India's Capital, what do you think I am a fool ??

Me:- No but in that case, since it’s a state it should have a capital, right??

VR:- No it’s not a state.

Me:- Ok then what is it ??

After thinking and silence of exact 30 seconds

VR:- Ya it’s a state but I don’t know what its capital is.

Me:- Chandni Chowk

VR:- Ya may be (with a non-convincing look)

Me:- Ok then tell me this, How many states does India have ?

VR:- 25

Yes, that’s what the IQ of today’s generation is. Above, VR is one of my College friend and after 4 yrs of engineering and 3 yrs of job this is what a 26 yr old knows about his own country. It’s not the problem only with him, I have come across many others too and I have got the same kind of answers. People then say that they don’t have interest in politics.

These were no political questions!!! This is regular information which I think everyone MUST know ATLEAST.

Well correct answers to the question asked above are

President's Name (2007-2009 and going on) - Smt. Pratibha Patil

President's Name (2002-07) - APJ Abdul Kalam (No “Azad”, Abdul Kalam Azad was the renowned freedom fighter)

New Delhi - It is not a state but a Union territory (A Union Territory is a sub-national administrative division of India, in the federal framework of governance. Unlike the states of India but not actual state)

Number of states - 28

1.Andhra Pradesh

2.Arunachal Pradesh

3.Assam

4.Bihar

5.Chhattisgarh

6.Goa

7.Gujarat
8.Haryana
9.Himachal Pradesh

10.Jammu and Kashmir

11.Jharkhand

12.Karnataka

13.Kerala

14.Madhya Pradesh

15.Maharashtra

16.Manipur

17.Meghalaya

18.Mizoram

19.Nagaland

20.Orissa

21.Punjab

22.Rajasthan

23.Sikkim
24.Tamil Nadu
25.Tripura
26.Uttar Pradesh
27.Uttarakhand
28.West Bengal

Number of Union Territories - 7

A.Andaman and Nicobar Islands

B.Chandigarh

C.Dadra and Nagar Haveli

D.Daman and Diu

E.Lakshadweep

F.National Capital Territory of Delhi

G.Puducherry

I don’t know why people don’t have any awareness towards our own homeland.

# We know who is Obama, Sarkozy or Blair but who is Indian President no one knows

# We know who Guns and Roses are but don’t know who is Bheemsen Joshi

# We know about Eiffel Tower but have no idea where India Gate is (Bombay or Delhi !!!)

# We know about Pizza but eating masala dosa is considered middle class

# We know who Tom Cruise is but have no idea who Om Puri is.

I appreciate that foreign ethnicity is flamboyant and extraordinary but you are an Indian and till now you used all Indian resources to be here, to be able to read this but still you are more concerned in the nations other then yours. I am not asking you to write a book about India but having basic knowledge about it will do.

Think about this, I will ask you 5 very basic questions about India and if you answer them without googling/referring then you must be proud of yourself otherwise......

1. What is the capital of India ?

2. What is the order of 3 colors in Indian Flag ?

3. What was Mahatma Gandhi's full name ?

4. What is national Song of India ?

5. In which state Tajmahal is?

Let’s see the answers in the comments, if you do not know the answers then leave them namelessly but do not refer. If you refer and reply then we are not in loss, then its just you who is fooling yourself.

What's my Rashee??

             Yes I was asking this same question after being tormented by the latest movie “What’s your Raashee“. Me, my wife and a friend went for this movie today and found it an absolute waste of time. The movie had nothing to offer to its audience. Ashutosh Gowariker has again tried a total new concept which he always does. I still can’t remember a better movie then Lagaan and Swadesh but this one is a total turn-off.

What does movie offer – It’s about a guy who has to get married within a week. He is given a choice with 176 girls to choose from but he decides to meet just 12 of them, 1 from each sun sign. He does so because he reads a book “What’s your Rashee” which tells him that every sun sign has its own distinctive qualities. All 12 girls are played by Piggy Chops depicting metaphor for Harman Baweja’s dream girl. Indeed an original thought.

Movies biggest assets – Priyanka Chopra, She has looked stunning. She has done an amazing job while portraying these 12 poles apart characters. She has acted very well right through the movie. Also, the final song which shows all 12 Priyanka Chopras together is actually the best song and has a very lovely feel in it.

So why did Titanic Sink??

1. Whenever Harman Baweja goes to see a girl there is a song!! 12 songs in total and then 13th when all of them come together.

2. Harman Baweja can’t give expressions for nuts; I found his performance well under average.
3. Duration of the movie, over 3.5 hrs!!
4. All characters had very slackly written role. Excluding Priyanka Chopra everyone failed to make an impression.
5. Climax is stupid and it does not give explanation for why he got married to XYZ girl out of those 12. Almost 8-9 candidates which story makes sure that Harman will not tie the knot with but out of remaining 4-3 why he chooses XYZ!!! I am still searching for that answer.

             Please don’t go and watch it in the theatre because it’s a complete waste of time. If you disagree I would love to hear from you.

Feather in Joke Factory's Cap

All details given below are fictious and picked up from a leading newspaper, I have not written any of this (Otherwise Joke factory will sack me too :D)

Aiyoo City: A software engineer working with Joke Factory allegedly jumped to death from the multi-storeyed Joke Factory building located on the
outskirts of the city, police said today.


The deceased was identified as VY (28), a native of Gwalior in Madhya Pradesh, the police said.


VY was working with the software firm in the Electronics city since 2004. He was on three months leave and last month he sent in his resignation through e-mail from his hometown which was accepted by the firm.


The company, however, said he could work till August 31, the sources said.


VY came to the office last night and jumped to death from the building, police said.


Readers Opinions


Joke Factory labour, Aiyoo City, says: I am also in same tower,ASS2 and same ODC where VY Jumped from,This is really sad news,his supervisor Should be hanged. They made him sucide. Joke Factory Really Sucks!!.This is not it happen first time here, in 2006 another guy jumped from ASS1 tower I want to get out of Joke Factory ASAP. Joke Factory policy are not employee friendly, they put 12000 people under enrichment,Govt should interfer in this situaion
[28 Aug, 2009 1131hrs IST]


Joke Factory labour, Aiyoo City, says: I am sure he was laid off. beacuse of that only that poor guy has done sucide..and if u knw software industry the first question is no one will GIVE YOU 3 MONTHS OFF !!!!Think guys time to leave Joke Factory....
[28 Aug, 2009 1115hrs IST]


cannot disclose, Aiyoo City, says: Hi, Its very sad to hear about this,I think there should be more inquiry in this matter,because I am damn sure that the guy would have been forced to put the papers as like me and thousands of employees who were asked to resign or face the adverse consequences. Ex employee Joke Factory
[28 Aug, 2009 1109hrs IST]


Joke Factory Employee, Aiyoo City, says: This is really a sad incident . Such kind of incidents can be easily controlled if the company policies are employee friendly . The HR should be doing councelling to know the state of the employee's mind . Also pressure which comes in from the management should also be checked .
[28 Aug, 2009 1022hrs IST]


sssss, delhi, says: actually indian it firms are hopeless and dont know to run business.Joke Factory is the worst firm one can imagine in india.hell with the cheap management of indian it firms who r good in cock riding
[28 Aug, 2009 0741hrs IST]


Another victim, Heaven, says: Suspect he would have been laid off and asked to resign. Would there be any other reason why he should choose to suicide inside office campus. Investigations result will not be revealed to safeguard the co. image. Poor guy let go his life. World doesn't ends when you are laid off.
[28 Aug, 2009 0459hrs IST]


Amulya, Atlanta, says: this news is wrong he did not commit suicide. Joke Factory is making story to hide fact. he was my child hood friend
[28 Aug, 2009 0450hrs IST]


Jagan, Blr, says: Joke Factory HR should be asked for their policy/agreement using which an employee can be given 3 months leave. And during that leave period, he has the rights to resign :). Does this happen in a normal situation? Employees getting 3 months leave in middle of a project, and then happily resigning? IT employees, know the labour laws of India and act accordingly. No other way out.
[27 Aug, 2009 2137hrs IST]


Lakshmi, UK, says: I completely agress with Tapan, Vohra. As a software engineer, I know, the difficult of work stress combine with this there is a interpersonal problems and other issues. I was once sufferer becoz, of depression. I was lucky to recognize and take control of my life but, how many people can do it for their self ? My self-assessment (intutitive) is around 70-90% IT guys are suffering from some form of mental illness. This should be the highest alarm issue for all corporate and government.
[27 Aug, 2009 1741hrs IST]


Joke Factory Employee, UK, says: Another feather in a cap for Joke Factory !!!
[27 Aug, 2009 1721hrs IST]


Tapan, Vohra, says: IT Professionals today are under a lot of stress, yet very few IT companies have the awareness or will to routinely access the mental health of its individuals. In these times of stress, companies should provide facilities for counselling for people who genuinely need help. Sites, like the Indian IT Professional Network, iITPRO.NET, should take up these issues with the corporate IT world.
[27 Aug, 2009 1557hrs IST]


True Joke Factory Employee, india, says: Dear All IT professional, This not new ,In MYSORE (karnatka)Joke Factory office the same incident happend in month of FEB.due to HR manager .one SAP team member also try to jump from 5 th floor but luckily security team caughtd him.it very important to note that in mysore employee are thrown out from their job due to south Vs North fight.some high post manager having this mentality to bias.these type of people showing false performance issue for paper work and destroying Joke Factory brand name.
[27 Aug, 2009 1550hrs IST]

Top 10 signs which indicates that you are working for Joke Factory

10. When other then poogle.com everything else is blocked.

9. When you get same reply for anything you request or recommend.... "NO"

8. When you buy meal from the factory restaurant and the canteen boy shooos you away if you ask for extra because what he served was inadequate.

7. When you ask ferry driver to ride slow and he also shooos you away.

6. When you never get your complete salary, ya that’s sad.

5. When everyone is given top work ranking in the same year when there is no hike in salary. The raise depends on the ranking. No hike means it does not matter what grade you get so offer everyone the highest grade and let them be contented.



4. When you are said to give your 150% but not to anticipate any help if factory fires you. (This was told by a very very top ranked spokesperson)

3. When you do terrible work you will get blasted majestically and when you do fine work you will just get blasted.

2. When you read a warning "Parking at owner's risk" within the Joke Factory's own boat parking waterfront. (I guess I should be guarding my boat for 8 hrs instead of working)

And The WINNER is: When life guard looks for bomb, knife and gun in you bag (I am sincerely not joking). He checks only males because females don’t do such things!! (I am yet again not joking)

Tell us more what different happens in you Joke Factory

The Couch

Yesterday night we were invited to this place which is recognized as 'The Couch'. It’s a Lounge bar at the MG Road.

Address: - 114/1 Sai Complex (above corporation bank)
Bangalore, Karnataka 560 001
Phone: - 080 41512898
Opening Hours: - 12:30 pm to 11:30 pm everyday

It is situated on 1st floor and extends till third floor. We went on Tuesday so there was no hitch in getting the place. Me and my wife arrived first and asked for reservation for 9 of us. The manager said that it does not require reservation on weekdays so there will not be any trouble. I and my wife had to kill half an hour till the moment everybody turns up, we went for window shopping. When we came back the 1st floor was chock-full and there was no place for us but in view of the fact that manager promised us, he shifted us to the 2nd floor which is closed all through weekdays.

We were given a quiet a large spot which was comfy for all of us. They have seating capacity for groups of 2-10 with extremely comfortable couches. Music was loud but not deafening. The interior was great and the place is neat and clean.

Let’s come to the food. We asked for some starters, drinks and main course. Let me tell you that this place is quiet expensive and sophisticated but even after charging a whooping 250 rupees for a main course, the quantity was an adequate amount for two. We ordered,

Hors d'oeuvres
2 French fries,
1 Seekh kabab,
1 noodle roll,
1 baby corn fry

Beverages
8 Bacardi (If I remember correctly)
5 Large Beers
1 Virgin Kiss (Mock tail)
1 Ice Tea
2 Mirinda
1 Sprite

Main course
1 Dal Makhni (Accompanied with 1 Bowl Rice/2 Naan)
1 Thai Curry (Accompanied with 1 Bowl Rice/2 Naan)
1 Mushroom Masala (Accompanied with 1 Bowl Rice/2 Naan)
1 Paneer butter masala (Accompanied with 1 Bowl Rice/2 Naan)
1 Ginger Noodles

It was adequate for all of us counting Parmesh :-) and the check was roughly 5K after tax.

Unlike other exclusive restaurants where you pay more and eat less, I found this place much much better. I thought it was worth till the last penny. The ambience was splendid. The food was yummy. The service was excellent. The food was served within 15 minutes we placed the order. But this may be deceptive because we were here on a weekday, things might get poles apart on weekends. But it was a very nice and cozy place and unquestionably a great place to hang out with a large group or for a Romantic outing.

Why do we make life so complicated for us??

Today morning I started to the workplace routinely at around 9 in my car. I took inner Bannerghatta course. When I was half way through to my destination, I saw a boy standing on the side of the road and frantically waiting for something. It took me 1 second in addition to comprehend that he wanted a ride. He was about 10-12 year old. He looked deprived but the way he wore his pant and T-shirt, nicely tucked in, impressed me and I stopped the car for him as soon as he waived me. I did not know what happened to me. I never stop for anyone, especially who are asking for lift. He looked un-harmful to me.

I asked him where does he want to go and he said "Hosur Road". I gladly let him in. I am sure that some of you (particularly my relatives) will not be pleased about this. They have all rights to not to be contented for this because we read every day that bad guys make use of such tactics and rob. But as I told you this boy did not look any threat.

So I let him in and I started to drive. He could speak only Kannada or Hindi so I started talking. I asked him quite a few questions,

Me: Where do you live??

Boy: Rajajinagar

Me: Then what were you doing here??

Boy: My mother is admitted in Jaydeva hospital.

Me: Then how did you get here, at nowhere.

Boy: My uncle left me here.

Me: Your Hindi is really nice, how??

Boy: I work for a North Indian. (I wondered what he meant by that)

Me: Which school do you go?

Boy: I don’t go to any school.

Me: Why??

Boy: My mother doesn’t have any funds. We both work in different houses to earn money. My father abandoned us long ago.

Boy: Now my mother needs 2000 for heart operation and we could manage only 1000. All our relatives have refused to give us any money, so I am going to one of my uncle who lives near Hosur.

I felt he has created a wonderful condition for him to ask me some cash ………. But he not at all did!!!

We reached Electronics city and still nothing which made me more positive about the boy that he is speaking the truth. I asked him how will he go from Hosur to the destination and he said same like this; taking lifts because he has no currency. I decided that I will give him 50 rupees and decided to drop him till Hosur road.

I dropped him at Hosur road but could not give him money. I don’t know what blocked me from giving him that 50 rupees. He got down and went off to get lift from someone else.

I felt content as well as awful. I was happy that I helped a person who undeniably needed it and felt bad because he also could have wanted those 50 rupees.

You know just because of few dreadful people, people like this boy do not get any help. I am very sure that lots of cars before me would have overlooked him. Why do we do that?? What distinction it would have had made to my bank balance if I had given him 50 rupees or even 1000 rupees which he was wandering for ?? But we do not do that.

You can go to a luxurious shop to purchase a tattered jean for 3000 rupees but you are not ready to give an extra rupee to a Sabjiwala or the guy who checks tyre air for your car. Why??

Why do we make life so complicated for us?? Please help such people. If Sabjiwala asks me 8 rupees for 1 kg tomato, I give him 10 rupees and don’t take any change back. What disparity will those 2 rupees make to me, I will anyways waste it on something worthless tomorrow but it is of much more significance to that Sabjiwala or any such individual.

Please help who needs it. Don’t give it to beggars, I don’t find it reasonable but if that beggar is aged and not capable of doing any labor then yes do help them and be bighearted, nothing comes for 1 rupee today. Give them at least 5-10 rupees. Don’t worry it will not make any difference to your assets.

I believe I can Fly

Like a terrible nightmare, most horrible days of my life got over last Friday. It was my final day on Cleopatra (Sea). I said goodbyes to the whole crew on board and each person in return said things like "It was nice to have you here" or "Thanks for all the help you provided" but Rambo said "Please return the admission tag” which is used for various doors on boat!!! Hmmmmm, Don't you think that he indeed is a Brilliant Ass#$%@ (As Mel Gibson would say). Well it is past now.

After all the goodbyes I returned back home and we made a plan to have a rocking bash to celebrate my release from a prison. All 4 of us I, Rockstar, Mel Gibson and Lara croft decided to go to a Pub. We had an incredible time. We had fun till our guts out; last day in the Sin city was amazing.

Next morning we had to catch the Turkish ship to go back to India at 12 in the afternoon. Our voyage was from

# Sin city to Bulbul city,
# Bulbul city to Bhai city in India and
# Bhai city to Aiyyo city in India

A very very long route. I asked Joke Factory to give me a shorter course from a different ship named Roughthansa but Joke factory said that they don't have sufficient money to buy ticket for Roughthnasa. I can understand that, Joke Factory is an unfortunate company; sometimes they even take money from its junior most crew to pay the senior most crew. I truly have a soft corner for this corporation.

Anyways we went to the dock-yard to catch the ship. When we showed our permits to the conductor,

Conductor: "You are on standby”!!!
Me: "What!!!"
Conductor: "We have an overbooked ship so you need to wait”
Me: "Do we have to go standing :-)"
Conductor: “No :-)”

Then following few discussions with his seniors, he gave us the tickets but he said that our seats are not yet finalized and we have to collect the seat numbers at the ship entrance. There was a faint anticipation in my mind that if ship is packed and we still don't have seats then there is a slim probability that we might end up with celebrity seats; our tickets were of deprived class. Joke factory does not give celebrity class tickets because they say when the biggest joker and possessor of the Joke factory "Prem Gareebchand" himself travels in a deprived class then how can you take a trip in a celebrity class. Joke factory has answers for everything, it does not matter how brainless is the explanation but they do have answers for everything. Anyways we went to the ship entrance and showed our tickets. The entrance conductor looked more serious then the previous one and speculated our tickets for 15-20 minutes and upon argument with 2-3 fellow members of the ship he gave us the seat numbers which were 2d and 2f. Do you know what that means if you get a seat which is below number 4?

IT’S A CELEBRITY CLASSSSSSS :D

Sin-City to Bulbul city - We entered in the ship and we were escorted to the celebrity class seats. I must tell you people in deprived class are treated as baggers compared to the celebrity class. As soon as we sat down a lady came with a tray with 3 kinds of drinks. I could distinguish one as orange juice and other one as plain water but I could not make out what was the 3rd one so I asked what’s that and she said in her Bulbul accent "Its Shaam-paa-n (Champagne)", I was like mannnnn this is life. That glass of Champaign was like the greatest thing in the world in my hand. It made me feel like an emperor. This was just a starting, all celebrity class people were treated like a superstars. After every 15 minutes a male attendant used to appear from nowhere to take an order for a drink or for something to eat. We sailed for 4 hours to reach Bulbul city.

Bulbul city to Bhai City in India - When we reached Bulbul city we were keen on buying the most legendary sweet "Lokam" its kind of jelly with dry fruits within. Let me tell you it was breathtaking. We bought 2 large packets and people who will visit my place will for sure get to taste that but offer valid till the stock lasts :D. We started from Bulbul city to Bhai City (Doorway to India). We were in a big ship this time but in a deprived class :-(

The excellent thing with this ship was that it was empty. For 500 passengers only 100 were there and we had center 4 seats just for 2 of us. I asked Rockstar if she wants to lie down on 3 seats and I will manage on the 4th one but she said no it’s ok you be asleep. I asked couple of times more but she refused, so I slept gladly. After just 10 min I sensed that she wants to stretch, so I twisted a slight and allowed her almost 1.5 portion of the 4 seats. 5 minutes later she suggested that we both can manage to sleep on 2-2 seats. So I twisted further and now both of us had 2 seats each. Little later she said it’s not comfy and I had to say ok you take 3 seats I will deal with one and she slept cheerfully for 3 hrs with the whole body stretched out 

Bhai City to Aiyoo City - We reached Bhai city at around 3 in the morning and it was pretty smelly as soon as the door opened. Bhai City port is not very good but we just had to kill couple of hours which we did and returned in one piece to the Aiyoo City.

Felt nice to be back after all that I went through. Now I can look forward to have a great time.

Good People in worst days of my life

Its not a honesty or nice if I do not talk about those people who in fact supported me and talked to me in my terrible time. They are the individuals who treated me as a human. For Rambo Siblings, Johnny siblings and Rocket, I was just like a servant. Every time even if they said “Hi” or “Bye”, to me it felt as if I look like a retard to them. And you know I have not been granted a single day off the work just because Joke factory does not allow any day off for first 6 months if you are at the boat !!!

I would like to show gratitude and talk about people with whom I truly had a lovely time. Which helped me to battle this annoyance in last 106 days,

1. My Wife aka Rockstar - Rockstar is my Wife's wicked twin. I did not want to make it obvious because I wanted you to appreciate how significant 2 characters of a same person can be. We all have twofold characters and also I had to go home too :-). If she was not there I would have lost this battle a long before, Thank You for all you have given me till today.

2. Lara Croft - She used to work on a boat named Caesar. Both the boats Caesar and Cleopatra are part of same fishing firm "Glycodin pvt Ltd". She was initially a part of the Joke Factory but she decided to give it up for a big ship at Sea for the same reason I experienced. She is very concerned and entertaining, Thanks for all.

3. Mel Gibson - He is part of Caesar (Shore) at Joke factory and at the moment working at “Caesar” with the crew Caesar (Sea). He is a cool guy; but only when he is awake :-). Thanks for having lunch with me every day.

Then I had few folks at boat from the crew Cleopatra (Sea) who treated me one of their own.

4. 3 storied man - He is the main mechanic of the boat Cleopatra and he looks after the boat for any holes or broken machinery. He is a very kind and humble guy. He has always spoken to me about India whenever he had time. I called him 3 storied man here because whenever I spoke to him I had to look up as if I m talking to a person who is standing on 3rd story of a building, Very tall man but with tiny ego, pride and attitude. Thank you.

5. Indiana Jones - This person is Mr. Cool, no worries whatsoever about anything. Man with insignificant ego, arrogance or attitude. He has come to my desk and spoken to me about all the things except work almost every single day. He looks after the conversion of language whenever boat goes to a different country and crew does not speak the lingo, lovely man, Thank you.

6. Hulk Hogan - Gem of a person, very soft spoken and very good at heart. He looks after specifications of the boat. He always have given me liberty and value, Thank You.

7. Michael Doglous - Rambo is on leave right now and Michael is acting head presently. When I see him as the person in charge of the boat I feel what the F#¤% is with Rambo!! Why can’t he behave how this gentleman does?? I remember that last week for everything I did for Michael on the boat he said "Thank You" EVERY SINGLE TIME!! I can't even recollect when Rambo brothers and Johnny siblings told me thanks the previous time!! Thank you Michael for all you respect.

8. Damien Martin - He is from crew Cleopatra (Shore). This guy is last resort to me. If nothing is working out I just ask him for help and he has responded EVERY SINGLE TIME. He respects me alot and I also have too much faith in him. Thanks for all the help you have given me.

You know none of above except my wife would have recognized that they are playing such a vital ingredient for my life every day and we usually fail to appreciate that. But you come to know their magnitude only when they are still there in your dire time. So say thanks, it costs nothing :-)

It was a very rigid period for me in recent days but I have learnt 1 thing is that people who support you in your bad time are your true friends :-)

Thanks to all of you for doing that.

Most terrible days of my Life

I know many people would wonder that he is in a foreign country, place of all dreams you would have ever dreamed of, yes it is and it has been a great place since my previous 2 visits but this time it was poles apart :-(

# Cleopatra - It is a Boat where I am working currently, I am not a direct crew member of this boat but I have been sent here to assist and to have enhanced communication between my original crew and the crew on Cleopatra. Troop at Cleopatra is known as "Cleopatra (Sea)"

# Joke Factory - Joke factory is a shipping company who provide "any type" services to different boats or ships around the world and "Cleopatra" is one of them. I work for Joke Factory. I am a member of the team "Cleopatra (Shore)", team that assists "Cleopatra (Sea)"

People who are liable for ruining my life within these 106 days,

In a precedence order,

1st being who pissed me off the Most,

1. Rambo - He is the main commander of the boat and he is the MOST retarded person you could ever bump into, he is not dreadful but he wants everything to be faultless till the last detail and for that he will observe your work so much that you will ultimately loose your senses. Sometimes he himself does not know what he wants, he could be a faultless asshole, He thinks he knows it all and he also thinks that Joke factory is filled with a bunch of jokers, he likes to have last word in every conversation, he basically is a old pathetic bastard.

2. Chota Rambo - He is the bitch of Rambo, they even share the like names, what Rambo says bitch repeats it, over the past few years he has actually learnt how Rambo laughs, speak and what different phrases Rambo speaks, Chota Rambo has mastered everything and now he is a carbon copy of original Rambo, Whenever Rambo is on leave I never miss him because duplicate is always there.

Rambo pays Joke factory a great deal for each facility provided to “Cleopatra” by Joke Factory

3. Little Johnny - Little Johnny is person in charge of the crew "Cleopatra (Shore)", his troop assists and facilitate Rambo's group for different things, since Joke factory gets lots of capital from Cleopatra, Little Johnny has also sold his soul and respect and have also become Rambo's bitch, whatever Rambo says will be done, it does not matter what the job is, if Rambo even asks him to say that an Elephant is a Rabbit, Little Johnny would say its not even a rabbit its a mouse, An incredible Asshole

4. Big Johnny - Big Johnny is Little Johnny’s boss and you can say that he is the boss because little Johnny is also a bitch to big Johnny and does whatever big Johnny says or permits him to do. Big Johnny is also Rambo's bitch but he is bitch to many more such Rambos, he handles more then 10 different boats and makes sure that all those 10 "Shore" Teams work like slaves, I once remember that Rambo requested for a map of India and this asshole charged him for that too!!!

5. Rocket - She is a part of the "Cleopatra (Shore)" at Joke Factory, Her work is essentially to discover faults in everybody’s effort, she thinks she is the best and has some astonishing skills which no one has, I am part of the "Cleopatra (Shore)" team from 2 yrs but she has spend only 1 yr but Fortunately for her, I don't know what little and big Johnny saw in her, they made her my superior so now she tries to boss around on each crew member of "Cleopatra (Shore)" and especially me.

6. Rockstar - A very food friend of mine, we like each other’s company a lot but she is my most evil critic, she always console me when I am down or sad or frustrated but if I talk or share my issues with respect to my job, Rambo or Johnny brothers to her then she does not agree with me even if I am correct.

Various incidents that made me SICK

1. Rambo always expected that I will fix his new auto pilot engine for his boat but I am a navigation expert!! How on the earth could have I done it, little and Big Johnny did not do anything to lend a hand, they just said its my responsibility to do whatever Rambo says!! Little Johnny even recommended once that take a regular engine and name it as autopilot and tell Rambo that Job is completed because anyways Rambo does not know what Autopilot looks like!! I know that you are an absolute idiot little Johnny but Rambo is not.

2. Little Johnny was always behind my ass because I was not able to patch the auto pilot up, I told him that I am a routing expert, use me in navigation but no Little Johnny and Big Johnny decided that I will do auto pilot and a member from my gang "Cleopatra (Shore)" who is an auto pilot professional will do routing!!! Nice judgment ... WOW .... Johnny brothers a Couple of retards.

3. When Little Johnny was on leave, Rocket assumed that she now has to handle this team, so she started passing on everything to me!!! Little Johnny and Big Johnny were sitting and watching emails and were not bothered what’s happening.

4. That’s still ok but if I am miserable because of this and if I talk to Rockstar and discuss these things with her, she says "You are not doing your job appropriately", she says I must do Navigation + auto pilot and should keep working for double hours, it does not matter if working double hrs will decipher the trouble or not but since I m not working double hours people are not pleased with me!!!

5. Finally I fixed the autopilot, then

# Rambo says "You are a navigation expert so why its not auto piloting navigation also!!"

# Chota Rambo says "You are a navigation expert so why its not auto piloting navigation also!!"

# Little Johnny says "You are a navigation expert so why its not auto piloting navigation also!!"

# Big Johnny says "You are a navigation expert so why its not auto piloting navigation also!!"

# Rocket says "You are a navigation expert so why its not auto piloting navigation also!!"

# Rockstar says "If you had worked for double hours you could have made everyone happy even if it was not auto piloting navigation!!"

6. Today perhaps is the worst day of my life. I fought with Rockstar today and I think that I am good for nothing; whatever I do I am not able to keep these 6 people happy.... I have no idea how to come out of this pressure as well as make everyone alright at the same time.

If my wife had not been there with me then I might have had lost my mind by now.

7. I have no place to go, If I m at the boat then Rambo, Chota Rambo and Johnny brothers are always trying to bolt my ass. After work I cannot discuss it with Rockstar also because then you know what will happen. So mainly I had nothing to bust my stress out these 106 days, it was only in sleep where I was not getting blamed; sometimes people came there too to haunt me.

Thanks to my Wife who stood by me and gave me strength to fight it out daily, but i guess all assholes overpowered that too. I had a nervous breakdown, I did not know what to do in life so I decided to write this and after writing it I feel slight comforted. Over the period of years I have realized that if I m hassled and disgusted then writing down a give back answer to the person who is responsible for it, it helps a lot.

Sorry for writing this in a very swanky coding language, I do not want actual people involved in it to get reason to hold me accountable again for no reason.

Please don't ask me who is who, I suppose you can effortlessly guess :-)

Also please tell me what do you do when you are stressed out.

Live in the moment

How would you respond when you are said that don’t buy that it’s useless and will not be of use for a long term. Save money don’t waste it, save it for future.

What is future!!! Do you know your future, does anyone know his or her future!! I don’t think so, its undecided, then why do you want to live on the foundation of uncertainty??

I told my wife that in our house I want to have a box built in the wall for flat screen television like a movie screen but she said keeping the television in the wall is not long term thought; we might not utilize it after sometime. A serious question pops up in my head, what is this long term planning??? 

Long term planning is not doing precisely what you want to do but doing it in a method that it will lessen maintenance price tag, I really hate the idea. If all my life I waited to have a private theatre space and now I can’t do it just because it will not yield anything good for long term!!! 

What this long term has given to anyone anyways!! After 10 years when you will loose all your passion to do things and you will be with 2-3 kids then everything will become stand still and there will be no time to do anything else in life.

So what are you living for, don’t you deserve to do anything with your own money!! My mother says save money save money ... for what!!! If I want to buy a nice phone or iPhone or Play station or foreign trip I have to think 10000 times before because it is stuffed in my mind from childhood that whatever you do think of a long term use.... and as result I did not buy many things because they were not useful for long-standing!!!

Why is it essential to think of long term in everything!! Why are you working hard to make that money and not working hard to spend it, I don’t say that spend every single penny but don’t be scared to acquire your dreams with that money, you might not get it after today :-)

So live in today not tomorrow, live in the moment 

Roadies The HIT Disaster

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Sorry for my foul language at 1 or 2 places in this blog, it was just because i was upset to the core.

I am very sure that you must be aware of a TV show MTV Roadies and I do know that some of you personally hate it from the bottom of your heart, I don’t.

I started watching this show from its season 4, I like shows where realism of this category exist, I know many of you hate it because of its foul lingo but trust me its lot better then many other TV serials not because we are young and we find humor in foul talking but because of its layout because of its unpredictability.

When I completed watching Roadies season 4, I became a HUGE fan of Roadies, its format and Raghu (Creator of Roadies). I like the way Raghu screw people and the way he observes things as soon as one opens his/her mouth, BUT he frustrated me.

. Roadies season 4 was a HUGE hit, huge means HUGE, It broke all the TRP records, every teenager was chatting about only 1 thing, Roadies, very few of us knew the existence of roadies before season 4. And season 4 had many great things, It had an exceptional and most worthy performer "Anthony" who finally won, most deserving Roadie to win I would say, then there was this big mind game participant who screwed every single soul on that show, "Rishab", Then there was "Bani", the drama queen who survived till end but lost to “Anthony”. This season had nothing you could say was terrible; it was really a great season.

. After the unpredicted triumph of season 4 MTV launched season 5 pretty shortly, auditions were held and Roadies 5.0 started, Now Mr. Raghu lost his cerebral stability completely and started putting his illogical twists and turns onto the roadies, I appreciate that you want to do innovative things and you don’t want us to forecast what is next BUT Mr. Raghu you must also take care that you don’t get your audience pissed off from your ridiculous ideas.

When season 5 started the initial episode itself took everyone by surprise that it had 2 eliminations. It was Ankita (Simran) and Varun who got out in the first episode itself but after that it was pretty ok, all the tasks were excellent and there were not too much of surprises excluding the episodes 6 & 7 in which Mr. Raghu brought back every voted out roadie (Except 1st episode's voted out roadies Ankita and Varun and as anticipated no justification given Why!!!) But since there were almost equal number of roadies on either sides (Voted-out and non-voted-out) so viewers accepted the twist. The thought was excellent that Roadie who is most commendable will go to Malaysia and that is what happened.

BUT by the end of episode 8 Mr. Raghu's baldhead started going through enormous pain because he not yet had applied his silliest ideas, he chose Malaysia for it.

# Ridiculous Idea no.1 --> Varun and Simran who got voted out in the first episode joined the other roadies in episode 9 in Malaysia without any struggle without any contest, no explanation given why?? That was the most retarded twist I had ever seen but Mr. Raghu did not discontinue.

# Ridiculous Idea no.2 --> In the final episode Mr. Raghu introduced one more crapiest thought, he again called back all the roadies and asked the 2 finalists to pick their squad. They chose their team and the crapy part was that 2 finalists did not have to battle at all but all the voted out roadies have to participate for them and the winning team's skipper will win!!!! But it got tied..... just right circumstances to give audience an another piece of CRAP.

# Ridiculous Idea no.3 --> This was the most astonishing and the mother of all the crap, Since it got tied between 2 teams it went to the 3rd Roadie who got abolished the last, just before finale, it was "Sonel" and She had to shout the name of the roadie SHE THINKS IS THE WINNER.... Cmoooooonnnnnnn man..... You show yourself that you are the most genius person on earth Mr. Raghu but YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF CRAP CRAP CRAP.

So that ended the season 5, which was again a hit because of the reputation of season 4. So Mr. Raghu decided to do something gigantic this occasion, generally they take 13 roadies but this time he decided for 20 roadies in season 6.

Season 6 started with the Bang, they said it will be scarier, intense, in Australia HELL DOWN UNDER, Hmmmm sounds appealing.... last time Raghu made it like Saas bahu serial.... who is dead he brings him/her back .... I thought he is a shrewd man and he will not replicate those things.... BUT he proved me WRONG BY A VVVVVV LONG WAY.

Season 6 selected 20 roadies.... 20 incredible roadies..... But then came the 1st episode and this time Mr. Raghu did not hang around for 6-7 episodes to demonstrate how retarded he is. In 1st Episode he divided 20 roadies in 2 groups on basis of his retarded mind, group 1 (insecured group) whom he think needs to prove themselves to go ahead which included roadies like “Sufi” and “Nauman” and group 2 (secured group) whom he really wants to see ahead in the show, now if you look at the group whom he really wanted to see ahead in the show had roadies like "Devarshi", "Paulami", "Gurmeet (Palak)", "Tamanna" whom each kid in India knew are of NO CALIBRE.

Out of that insecure group he for a second time divided them in 2 teams and made them compete, team lost went home straightforwardly in the 1st episode itself, 5 roadies "Ankur", "Sonia", "Neha", "Vicky" and "Bhanu" were among those 5 roadies who were the sufferers of Raghu's Mentally retarded - Challenged – Fucked up skull .... Next few lines are in Hindi for Raghu which I will explain in English below it.

To Raghu "Saale dhakkan, gadhe, ullu ke patthe tu apne aap ko shayad Bond samjhta hai par tu asliyat me hai ek ghanghor chutiya, saale bhadwe jab ek saath 5-6 roadies hi nakalne they to kya ghanta bajane ke liye 20 roadies liye they !!!"

English: "Asshole when you had to get rid of 5-6 roadies jointly to trim down the expenditure then why the FUCK did you choose 20 at the first place"

But all of us still thought that Raghu is not that foolish or dim-witted to do such thing and he will bring them back later in the show like how he did in season 5. BUT NO Raghu proved himself the biggest ASSHOLE.

He showed what happens when someone finds success much before when they truly should have achieved it.

Another thing, it’s a game show, a game show has some fundamental laws which are fixed but not for Raghu, he says something then he says no I want this!!!! there was a task in which weakest roadie had to be pushed in a coffin and whoever gets inside the coffin will loose the immunity, this was told initially in the task but later person who was pushed inside "Bobby" wins immunity!!!!!! And "Devarshi" who volunteered himself to go into the coffin goes out without even being voted out because Raghu changed his mind!!!! How EXTRA STUPID are you RAGHU???

Similarly there were 2 more such occurrences where Raghu Showed how gigantic fool he is and the best part is he thinks that he is soooooooooo smart that people will not catch his stupidity,

# 1st - When he gave opportunity to Sufi again, for the third time, reason, he was voted out because of Raghu's Twist, Abay saale to twist daalte kyo ho!!!! (Why the hell do you introduce twists) .... 3 times!!! Sufi gets 3 times because RAGHU wanted him to win BADLY.... Sufi gets 3 times but those 5 roadies who got purged in first episode dint even get there 1st chance correctly and they were not even called when all the roadies had to comeback for the finale .... Sign of an original brainless asshole.

#2nd - For last finale when final 2 roadies had to compete, for that Kiri won and had to choose between "Nauman" and "Palak" to participate with him in the finals, again came the mentally challenged Raghu and his equally mentally retarded brother Rajeev. Both of them knew that they can twist Kiri's intelligence, they made him pick Nauman !!!! You know why ...... because if you had seen the last task of Roadies 6, Palak even in her dreams could never ever have done it..... And this idiocy of Raghu and Rajeev made Kiri loose his Roadies title.

But I DO appreciate that every task executed in Australia was AWESOME ... i dont know if i have to give the credits to "Bumpy" (Director of Roadies) for it or to Raghu .... but they were superb.

I will be glad not to see you face and your tricks in Roadies 7 Mr. Raghu if you stick to your words that Roadies 6 was your retirement.

Look back and learn from your blunders.... you are making fool of yourself on national television..... You are well-known and successful..... Don’t loose it..... It’s your fan telling you and not someone who hates you..... Listen to your fan's word at least.